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‘no-fault’ divorce: time to ditch the blame-game!

Wife and husband signing divorce documents or premarital agreement

Resolution have launched their campaign for no fault divorce and Tini Owens goes to The Supreme Court to ask to be allowed to divorce her husband.

Why, do you ask do I support no fault divorce and Mrs Owen’s right to leave a marriage she does not want to be in?

When The Matrimonial Causes Act came into force with its 5 grounds for divorce, the writers of that Act thought that 2 years separation with consent would be the most common ground but it is not. The majority of petitions are on the grounds of adultery or unreasonable behaviour. Its not enough to fall out of love and get a divorce. This leads to the blame game.

Who’s fault is it the marriage broke down?

Its rarely that simple and pointing the blame at someone else often leaves to a deterioration in relations between the couple which means children get caught in the crossfire to their enormous detriment. It leads to maybe the weaker party taking the blame just to get out of the marriage or a party taking a pragmatic view that someone has to do it, even though it may not relate at all to what has actually happened. If we think that people should divorce nicely then we shouldn’t start with the first document filed full of blame.

Lets give people a chance to do it nicely and then if they can’t try and help them through mediation or collaborative law.

It does not need to be an expensive and emotionally draining battle. It can be done so that you may have to leave a marriage full of sadness but you can leave with your dignity intact and your bank account in better shape but starting the whole thing with an angry document makes those two things much harder to achieve. At the time of a separation its really easy to be dragged into angry emotions which turn to bitterness and hatred; to think that all you want to do is lash out and to believe that someone else must pay for ruining your life, when what you actually need to do sort things out and get on with your life.

There are a lot of people in the law and who support separating and divorcing families who hope that the government will listen and allow no fault divorce to become the norm whilst providing proper support for people who want to stay married but experience problems. Lets hope Resolution’s campaign makes a difference.

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